I am Failing as a Mother

Am I alone or do you feel like you buy 742 pairs of socks and instead of having any in your the top dresser door, they are just strewn about begging to be matched up with their long lost soul mate?

pile of unmatched socks

But instead of matching socks I spend approximately 264 minutes each week running my kids to dance and cheer leading…

little girl cheering
And swimming and soccer.

swimming practice

boy in swim cap

My efforts to reduce obesity in America. Actually, my kids feel like they spend so much time in the car they pretend we are living in the van.

sleeping bag in van
It is as if the book, Sh*tty Mom, was written for me. Some days I wonder if they brushed their teeth, wore clean socks or the same pair they wore the last three days, and if we actually turned in homework or left it sitting on the counter. I am sure my kids look like there mother didn’t look at them before they jumped out of the door so she could race to her meeting 60 miles away more than I think.

girl dancing in the rain

boys dressed up for 80's day

There are days I am on policy conference calls while in car line at school or talking to the school nurse about some mysterious object stuck in my son’s ear during a business lunch. And when I can’t find my lipstick I should just check with my daughter, she probably has it one of her my purses she carries with her everywhere.

little girl putting on lipstick
I swear my colleagues have to think I am lunatic. They are just lucky I am not taking notes with colored pencils and mechanical crayons…

But then I am reminded…dirty socks and crazy hair and lost homework and conference calls and business lunches really will not matter in a month or a year or even a decade. But making sure that my kids know they are loved by not only me, but a very gracious and merciful God is so much more important. And this weekend, it took my seven year old son reminded me of this.

He nonchalantly told me as he was trying to stretch the time before lights out that while he was playing football at our neighbor’s annual fish fry, he asked one of the boys if he believed in Jesus. The boy responded yes, but he doesn’t get to go to church a lot. Boo was relieved. The very next day as he was playing with a boy from down the road, he noticed a bible sitting in his room. He asked this boy the same thing. And got the yes reply. Once again he was relieved. I was shocked. Both of these boys are considerably older than my son. Both boys don’t go to school with him or even live next door all the time as they split time between their broken up parents. But, Boo didn’t worry one bit of what they might think of him or even that they would think anything of his question. When I asked him why he decided to ask them this question, his answer was simple. “Mom, I just want to make sure they believe that Jesus died for them so they can be in heaven with me someday.”

Let the children come to me...Luke 18:16
Well, it doesn’t get anymore important than that. And while I will be hard on myself about my parenting flaws and guilty about not being everything I see other moms be, I can sleep a bit more sound at night knowing I have shared the love of Jesus with my kids and one day, hopefully not soon, they will be in heaven with me.

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  1. says

    I’m learning that when people say they want to do/have it all, that “all” is only a three letter word, and I think you get ONLY one thing for each letter. I feel like I’m drowning, and I don’t even get an actual pay check unless I go in and sub a day here and there. Hang in there Mom. We can’t define ourselves by others, or they would be defining themselves by us; that definition would be really whacked depending on what day you pick! Hugs!

  2. Brenda says

    Yay!!-you made my day to know I’m not the only mom with a moutain of socks! I actually bought a pack of new socks over the weekend for each kid knowing laundry was not going to happen with my current workload! My one goal as a mom that I KNOW I accomplish daily is that each night when we tuck our kids into bed, they know they are the most loved kids in the world. Even when I have a thousand “things to do” running through my head that has to be accomplished before I go to bed, they say their prayers without fail because daily talks to GOD are important to them!

    I’m never going to have the cleanest house, laundry all done and put away at the same time and a whole week without eating on the run or forgetting something but I can teach my kids how important God will always be in their lives and that no matter what, their parents love them unconditionally.

  3. says

    I have a sock box. All the socks go into that box. When the kids were little once a week or so, usually during a Disney movie ( my oldest two are out of college – so its been a while!) . We all matched socks while watching, always turned into a competition.

  4. says

    You are good to your children, that is what is what counts, the socks will wait, just make sure they don’t wear two different ones to School. You are raising them right with “Lots of Love”

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